Porn Star??

Okay, I’m not a porn star, and I definitely don’t look like one. I am in my 30’s, I have 3 kids, 2 dogs, a cat, and a husband, I am chubby, my boobs sag, and I am so overdue for a mani and pedi. I don’t have the life of a porn star either. I work full time at a real job, I cook my own meals, and I clean my own house (and I don’t do it heels with a French maid costume).

But what I am is a woman and this woman likes having sex. I like the feeling of having sex with my husband; YES I still like having sex with my husband. I know this is a concept that is unimaginable, I have been married over a decade and I have been with him even longer. I mean shouldn’t I be depressed, whining about how all he wants is sex he never want to make love, how I am so tired from the long day, that I have a head ache. Doing everything I can to persuade him to just go to sleep. Okay, I understand this is what I am supposed to feel, and I will admit I tried these early on in my relationship with my husband – it is what we are taught – it is the process of a relationship. What a bunch of baloney! I was miserable, he was miserable, we were fighting, I was crying about my feelings. He just didn’t understand. YES HE DID! He knew I was C-R-A-Z-Y. I was also making myself crazy. I was just trying to be what I thought was the normal process for a marriage. I mean, isn't it normal that the sex life is suppose to slow down after awhile and especially when you have kids and bills - you know all that stress of responsibility - yeah that’s a big downer.

This is what we are taught, right? Men want sex, women want affection and we don’t know how to please our men anyway, right? Okay, maybe our parents didn't teach us this but the magazines have spelled it out clearly. You know what I am talking about: 101 ways to please your man - don't they mean 101 ways to scare your man. My entire husband wanted to know was, who I have done this with and did they really like it. I know what we can do to please our men. Have sex, no rules, be who you are and love it. What is sexier than a woman or man confident in the bedroom? You know what you like and don't be afraid to ask for it. Don't assume, ask. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT AND ASK WHAT THEY WANT. Don't be afraid. Talk about sex, it is healthy.

It’s not just sex that has me reflecting, it is affection as a whole. I know this is completely girly and I may lose any guys here. I mean feelings are part of a relationship, right? What I really want to know is, is sex different from affection? I think I am completely confused. But in some ways aren’t they the same? Don’t yell at me women! I know this is completely a man’s view of relationships and we have been fighting this as women forever. But it is time for the truth. I want to be kissed, touched, and rubbed in all the right places just as much as he does. I want sex!

Am I normal?

So I Google Women’s Sex Blogs and guess what the top sites have to say? That if you like sex you are a Jezebel, you are Wicked, but most cater to: Why Women don’t like sex, these are all excuses, excuses, and more excuses. What I want to know is am I normal. Can a married woman really want sex all the time like me, even after 10 years and 3 kids?

Yes, Women want to have sex and lots of it. I have a feeling we are all confused and when we don’t fit into the “norms”, we are lost and go looking for advice and what we find is that as women it is normal to not want to have sex and that it is normal to nag our significant other about feelings. I mean that is the reason you don’t want to have sex right? Your feelings aren’t being met, he won’t listen, he doesn’t understand, he won’t cuddle without trying to get some. What a load of excuses. I want to be FUCKED. I don’t need feelings all the time. Yes, I do like those cuddle times, and I like to be kissed while making dinner, and having you hold my hand in public, but what I really like is when you pinch my ass at the store and rub your dick on my ass. It’s not that I am different from any other female. It’s not the action but the anticipation of that action that gets me excited. It actually makes sex more fun. Thinking about sex when you aren’t doing it, or planning it makes it more fun.

So the all important question, Am I normal? Yes, I believe I am. I believe all women want sex and it isn't our significant others job to figure out what we mean when we give it in secret code, even we can't even figure out the key to understand it ourselves. It is time to say what we mean not what we are told to say. I am here to help you understand that we as women, mothers, wives, workers, and head of households are always in our sexual prime. It is not someone else’s job to tell us what we are to expect, how we are to act after marriage and children. I want sex the same way and just as often as I did when I was 18.